Tantrums are an interesting phenomena.   Every child throughout history has had tantrums.  It must be a natural human activity. Yet most parents will do anything to prevent their children from tantruming and stop them once they’ve gotten started.

As a general rule, natural human activities are beneficial.  But based on the latest research, parents are advised to distract the child or ignore them.

However there’s another way that many parents have found to bring satisfying results:  stay close and listen.  Allow the child to take the time needed to complete the unloading of the intense feelings that prevent her from engaging in learning and playing.  If you allow the child to complete this work, you will usually find that when finished, she will be relaxed and eager to connect and re-engage.

This is similar a similar process to crying. Instead of hurt, it’s frustration that’s being unloaded.  And instead of gently holding your child on your lap, you may have to be more active to prevent your child from hurting herself or others.  But it’s the same process and the same result.  You’ll have assisted your child in achieving a state of equilibrium once more.


One thought on “tantrums

  1. It’s so important to be able to ‘hold’ our children’s emotions, to normalize their feelings as just part of our human experience, and when they are able, to help them learn to change the things that can be changed, and either avoid or endure the things that can’t be changed.

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